In honor of @HereBeJimbo, first one to have proposed this, in the spirit of good fun, in answer to the times where our collective patience for the next roadmap has worn thin and and to divert us from all the serious discussions we're having (though I do condone them in the spirit of free speech, I;d love for the people to chill out and have a laugh too sometime instead of be all gloomy and argumentative XD) here is a talk-to-transformer DST roadmap! Gaze upon its' beauty!
Bold text is the text that I added.
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Hello everyone!
It’s been a while since I’ve made a post here, I’d like to share with you our plans for Don't Starve Together 2020, which are extensive!
As you know, we have no intention of neglecting or abandoning the fans of the game. In fact, we have a lot planned that we think will enrich the game. We have been carefully listening to what the fans of the game want and are now going to embark on a new adventure.
It is with great excitement that we announce that for the next year, starting with the end of 2018, we plan to make at least two major updates to the game.
The first massive Don't Starve Together update, rolling out this March, shall bring with it 1.3 million square kilometers to explore. It's very difficult to pinpoint exactly how many square kilometers of land is contained within a single biome, as it all depends on your proximity to the nearest beach. Players will find many beaches that will contain pieces of land that players can claim. When you find a beach, you can drop off the beach piece and the island will convert itself into a new biome (even if the beach was not intended to be converted). To place this new land piece, a player needs to stack three or more pieces of land together.
These lands will include expansions to existing Return of Them content, especially the ocean, which shall have many excellent new features, from thermal vents to hardy species; and, in the shadow of these new worlds, plenty of brand new features, to include massive pirate infested oceanic outposts and dungeons.
You can also expect to find plenty of fantastic new plot devices, including intrepid NPC explorers who will travel far and wide to uncover more of their lost worlds! This will lead to some of our most significant and challenging new quests yet!
Soon, They shall arise and visit the Constant, bringing new challenges to bear on our Survivors, such as the undead being released from their macabre tombs, a rogue god reappearing, or the return of someone special from the past.
New plants and animals shall be introduced into Don't Starve Together such as plants and animals such as Minecraft and Minecraft Pets. We also want the AI to interact with other players in-game, making sure there's a "whack a zombie" moment if you get run over. In addition, we want to allow the players to be the bosses in the game. That is, the player is the one with the most crafting ability, and there are times when you will need to kill other players.
We have not forgotten our promise to add new exciting characters in Don't Starve Together, and we shall deliver, starting with Witherbloom.
Meet Witherbloom, a fairy made of mystical leaves. Her fluttering wings will steal your farm, and cause a pestilence!
If you ever have a spell where your enemies explode into smoke when you attack, use this spell. She will not come in handy for a very long time, but she might come in handy once the full patch rolls out on July 30th.
We also have not forgotten our promise to refresh existing characters in Don't Starve Together, continuing where we left off with Wendy, who shall now have something of a full backstory to work with.
We also plan to rework Croque Du Chevalier, the legendary animal hunter! He will be lowered in power, but will also have some other small changes.
And that’s it folks!
In short, we are significantly increasing our support of Don’t Starve Together in 2020 with the following reward:
NICARAGOTALLICARAGOTALLICARAGOTALLICARAGOTALLICARAGOTALLICARAGOTALLICARAGOTALLICARAGOTALLICARAGOTALLICA
Thanks so much for playing Don't Starve Together, once again. I’m still amazed at how it’s evolved over the years. It's incredibly rewarding to see how people are still playing it more than 10 years later!If you have any feedback on the latest patch (which I hope to have any day now) please keep that in mind. I just want to hear what players like you think! I need your ideas to make Don’t Starve Together even better.
Warmest Regards,
Community Manager Roshana
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If you've got your own lovely rework notes, leave them in the comments and have a good time, everyone!
EDIT: Here is the link to the neural network!
https://talktotransformer.com/
Now go ham, future klei devs!