Fear not, anyone who is impatient. A dream has shown me what's going to be coming to the game after the Wilson update. But there will still be many surprises, since as this was a dream I already forgot almost all of it. But here's a few sneak peeks at a tenth the content that's to come.
They will add a new coffee machine. It also makes paninis, and some third thing that I forgot what it is. I don't even know what paninis are. Is that bread?
They're going to add inflatable armbands that let you float in the air, and you can go really fast if you pump your arms a certain way. Very fun to move around with them. Not sure how it's going to translate to keyboard and mouse controls, since I was physically wearing the armbands.
The armbands let you press space to dive into the water and catch fish. Not sure how you can press space when physically being in the world, but thankfully it seemed to have transitioned back to Don't Starve for this part so that wasn't a problem.
They're adding a big pyramid that you can enter to bring up a full screen menu. It has four tabs, but I only remember three. One tab was "Shop", letting you spend gold coins (premium currency?) on things like an entire instantly created base with t2 science, t2 magic, a pair of totally normal trees, and some more base items. One tab was "Sleep", letting you stay in the pyramid to restore your stats. One tab was "Sleep (NSFW)". Not sure why Klei's adding that last tab, I think it's pretty crass.
They're adding a new boss in the caves. It takes a really long time fighting it, I don't remember what it looked like or how it attacked, but when it got to 25% health it told me to go back to someone else on the surface. I did, but then I remembered that he's still at 25% health so I ran back thinking he tricked me, and thankfully someone else was there to prevent him from leashing and healing back to full. Upon defeating the boss a long cutscene played where he looked like a mob boss, and I looked exactly the same as him. We had seemingly come to an agreement so my identically appearing character starts leaving, upon which he was shot in the back of the head with a gun (with blood, not too fitting, Klei). Then it switched to showing the normal looking character swinging around a stick and pretending to fire a bow, with one point where they cover their head being used to transition their face to a more adult one, signifying they grew up and now had stat boosts.
The only reward for defeating this fake boss that's just make believe is buffing your character. I'm not sure if I was a new character or I was now Shadow Wes, I know it was one of those two. I feel like the buff was 30% movespeed, double damage, and some other stuff but I don't remember.
Overall I think this update is all over the place and has a lot of unfitting things that don't even make sense. Not sure why Klei is releasing this.